I wouldn’t say I’m a lightweight when it comes to ropes and knowing my way through some Shibari. It’s a beautiful, intricate art, using ropes to bind your lover. I took a few classes, but I’m no professional. I just knew how to tie up my two slaves, Gabriel Burton and Reichen Shepherd.
But, myself? I’d never really been tied up, rigged in an inescapable position. I did have a Dom of my own, but that was years ago. That was when I was a BDSM newbie, looking for a thrill. I loved to be bad and that still applies today.
I went from submissive, to I don’t know, to I’m a motherfucking Domme. Really, it was my boss, Julius, that picked me up when I was broken and turned me into the Dominatrix that I am today, with not one, but two slaves.
Gabe is my boyfriend, and Reichen … well, he’s more of just a lover. Sometimes we fuck; sometimes we don’t. But there’s no real emotional connection. It’s just raw sex between us—something I share with Gabe as well, but I love him. I see myself getting married and having babies with Gabe. What? You think a Dominatrix can’t be a soccer mom as well? They can.
But this isn’t about Gabe or Reichen. This is about another man that entered my life and changed it in a swift second. Enter Gideon Shaw.
Gideon Shaw is a six-foot five inch Dom and rigger with big hands and a deep, sexy voice. For over a month I was spurning his advances, which were really just comments. But, just like Gabe and Reichen, Gideon got under my skin.
I will be the first to admit, he would have me squirming in my seat while he was doing his demos, which became a weekly thing down in the dungeon at Xposed. Shibari 101. It was a small, intimate show, but the subs as well as their Dominants loved it. And, of course, with every swat to his little sub’s ass, he gave me a heated look. It was an “if only it were you” type of look.
So far, I hadn’t taken the leap.
I had many reasons, one of which was Gabe. Sure, he was okay with me and Reichen, but it was a bumpy road to get him there. What if I added another to the bunch? I didn’t know what I would do or what Gabe would think. I was honestly hoping I wouldn’t have to find out. But the temptation was there, and it was fierce.
It was a Sunday, and my usual cuckold couple was ready in the room, which had a bed in it. Big T, a sexy buff Black guy, was the Bull for the evening. Heather and Aiden were your usual couple, so in love, but in reality Heather was a solid ten, while Aiden … well, he was cute but lacked the perfect ten status.
Heather was a statuesque model type, with beautiful honey-blonde hair, which she had loose that evening. Her eyes were a striking green, which made me believe that it was a salon that gave her the blonde. Hey, no hate, as I went to a salon to get mine pure platinum. I’m a natural blonde, though, with blue eyes.
Aiden, well, he was kind of the opposite of her. He was skinny, shorter, and his cock wasn’t too impressive. He was really the perfect cuckold. He loved to be Dominated by me in front of her while she was being fucked by another, more well-endowed man. It was their preferred situation, rather than her going out and cheating on him, which she was more against than him. This way it was a controlled situation and she got a thrill from doing it right in front of him.
Heather was naked, excitement obvious in those green eyes. She loved the nights that Big T was available. He was a pretty popular Bull, but all I had to do was call him up and he would make the time. I noticed it was that way with a lot of people in the industry. When Ava Goode needed a favor, people made adjustments and accommodations.
Big T was in his black silky robe, which wasn’t far off from his skin tone. His skin glistened, it was so perfectly ebony. He had his hair in cornrows, the ends tickling at his neck. His brown eyes were on me, a little smirk on his lips.
“All right, why don’t you two get started?” I said, pulling a condom out of the box by the table. “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what to do.”
“Not at all, Mistress Ava,” Big T said with a little smirk.
“Very good,” I said, handing him the condom.
I left the room, giving them time to warm up. I knew that Big T liked to go down, give a woman a clitoral orgasm first, as it was more likely she would come from penetration if she’d already orgasmed. So, I waited until I heard Heather calling out in ecstasy. That was my cue.
I fetched Aiden, who had been instructed to get naked and wait for me in one of the other rooms in the club. I grabbed a leash from the table and attached it to the collar around his neck.
“On your knees,” I ordered.
He did as I asked, no questions on his part. He got off on humiliation, so I knew that I would need to ramp it up to eleven to get him off. Him getting off was as important as Heather getting hers.
I brought Aiden in on all fours with the end of the lead in my hand. I walked him throughout most of the club like that, again for the humiliation. His face was red and his forehead wet with sweat as he pattered his way through to the room. He was relieved when I closed the door, but then he looked up to see Big T and Heather fucking, and his face went a violent scarlet.
I walked to the end of the bed with him. He tried to look away, but I jerked the collar and grabbed his face harshly, pointing it up to watch as Heather rode Big T. She was facing us, so their feet were technically at the head of the bed. Big T had his huge hands on her tiny waist, and her face was red and glowing from pleasure as her breasts bounced with her movements.
“You watch! You pathetic worm,” I said. “How does it make you feel, hmm? Knowing that it takes another man to please your woman?”
He swallowed hard, watching them. “I-I try, Mistress.”
I giggled, letting go of his face. “Obviously not hard enough! How good is it, Heather?”
“Ooh, so good,” she said, tossing her hair and grinding her hips into Big T.
“Doing what you obviously can’t do,” I said. “You and that pathetic cock.”
I turned, grabbed some rope and tied him to the end of the bed, as there were posts for such things, specifically. He was standing, his arms spread out, holding the rope, which gave him no slack; he was forced to watch them, just as I wanted it.
He was bent over a little bit, so I first kicked his legs out further before getting down and grabbing his cock and balls, squeezing them hard.
“These pathetic things. Disgusting. You can’t even use it. I think those who cannot use their cock properly shouldn’t be allowed to have one. You just try and try, but always fall short,” I said, tapping with my two fingers on his balls, hard.
He squirmed, trying to get away from me.
“Don’t you move away from me,” I said, letting go of his balls abruptly before slapping his ass. “I think we need to redden this ass for doing such a thing.”
I grabbed my red flogger, walked back over and gave him a few lashings. He called out, as I wasn’t gentle.
“Ooh, did that hurt?” I asked. I rubbed my hand through his hair before I grabbed it and pulled. “Too bad! You deserve this and so much more! Making your woman seek out another cock. Tsk, tsk.”
I began swatting his ass again with the flogger, which he took pretty decently, hanging his head low. I grabbed his hair again, pulling his head back up.
“You watch! This is your doing, you know that. You watch and you enjoy the show,” I said with another giggle.
It was a two-hour session, and I was sure that Heather came at least six times. Then, when I finally had Big T come, I had Aiden take off the condom then lick Heather until she climaxed again! It was delightful, and I was pleased with myself when it was done. Heather and Aiden gave me a hug when it was over then went to go and get changed.
Big T was putting on his robe when I walked up to him, handing him one hundred dollars in twenties. It was technically a tip from Heather, but I didn’t really need the cash, so I gave it to Big T. He did most of the grunt work, anyways.
“Thanks, Ava,” he said with a smile. “Good session.”
I giggled. “You got off, so of course it was, at least for you.”
I walked out, leaving him to get changed in peace. As I walked out of the room, someone grabbed me by the waist and pushed me against the wall. I was ready to say some pretty harsh words, when I saw it was Reichen. His blue eyes met with mine, the curls in his blond hair picking up the light from the floor behind us, as we were in a pretty dark corner.
I frowned, slapping his hands away from my waist. “You overstep your bounds, slave.”
He gave his sexy, sensual smile, leaned down to me and smelled my hair. “You’re too tempting for me,” he said. His English accent, which admittedly made me weak in the knees, licked off of his words. “When do I get a turn?”
“When I say so,” I replied, pushing him away. It was difficult for me to do, as the heat between us was almost unbearable. I wanted him so badly my insides ached. It didn’t help that the scene I had done with Heather, Big T, and Aiden was pretty damn hot too. But I was at work. I had to keep a professional attitude, and fucking Reichen while I was on the clock was a no-no.
He wasn’t too impressed, especially since he was naked and his cock was harder than steel. “It’s been almost a week and a half since you let me come. You’ve edged me multiple times. When am I going to get to come?”
I grabbed his ear, getting him to his knees. It was my best method to get Reichen back into his place. “When I say so.”
I let go of his ear, which he cradled as he nodded. “Yes, Mistress.”
“Now, I’m going to watch Gideon’s demo,” I said, tossing my hair off my shoulders.
Reichen didn’t move but gave me that sexy smile again. “Ooh, so that’s what it is.”
My brow furrowed. “What?”
“Gideon,” he said, almost laughing. “You’d think that both Gabriel and I would be enough for you, Mistress.”
I frowned. “I like watching him work.”
“But you also dream of fucking him and letting him Dominate you,” he said, standing before me.
I rose a brow. “Dominate me? No. I don’t do submissive.”
“You say that, but you have to admit, your one experience with being Dominated was with someone who was inadequate,” Reichen said, crossing his arms. “Maybe you should try it with someone who knows what they’re doing and has their head in the right space. So to speak.”
I frowned again, shaking my head. “I’m good. I’ll pass.”
He shrugged. “All right. I’m going to get ready and head back to the dungeon. You coming there, or going home to Gabriel?”
“I’m going home,” I said. “Which reminds me, why aren’t you wearing your cage? Gabe’s been in his for three days now.”
“It was chafing,” he said.
“You put more lube on then. You don’t take it off. I guess I’m going to have to relinquish your key privileges.”
His smile faded at that thought. “I don’t touch myself, as per your instructions. You can trust me.”
“Hmm, that is yet to be decided,” I said. I patted his cheek hard before stroking down his chest to his cock, which I grabbed harshly. “This is mine. Don’t you ever forget it.”
He grunted. “Yes, Mistress.”
“Very good. You are dismissed,” I said, letting go of his cock. “I’m going to watch the demo.”
I saw him smirk again as I walked away. It made me a little angry, as I knew what he was thinking. What I hated was that he was right. I wanted Gideon Shaw bad. Was it plainly obvious? I hated myself if it was, but I wasn’t sure if it really was just Reichen teasing me and being a dick.
I strutted over to the spot where the demo was being held. All the submissives and their Dominants, as well as a few solos, started to scatter. I walked up to see Gideon’s girl for the evening, Ruby, packing up his stuff.
I was confused. Then a gruff, sexy voice came from behind me. “You missed it tonight.”
I turned to see Gideon, who was clean-shaven, like usual. The grey spots in his short-clipped hair were a little more obvious in the lighting, but it was a sexy grey. I knew he was forty, but that seemed a little young for grey hair. It didn’t matter. It made me think of him as an animal, a wolf; he was definitely wild and unknown to me.
“Oh,” I said, trying to keep my cool, though I could feel the warmth spreading in my thighs as I thought of being his willing submissive. “I guess there’s always next week.”
“I could do a private show for you,” he said with a shrug.
“Oh, that would be nice, but I don’t think I could afford you,” I said with a laugh. It wasn’t true. I could afford it. I just didn’t want that private show … well, not true. I wanted it pretty bad.
“Free of charge,” he said.
“Oh … ”
He eyed me with his smoky blue eyes. “Can’t think of a way out of that one, huh?”
I frowned. “Gideon—”
“Why not give me a chance to show you your submissive side, Ava?” he asked.
“Because I don’t have one,” I said.
“Bullshit,” he said. “You know it as well as I do. It’s there, under the surface. Let me awaken you.”
He stepped closer, his cologne circling around me. I could feel my heart pick up speed, my breathing intensify. The smell of his cologne made me feel dizzy. It was woodsy, strong, and pure male. He was so close, but he hadn’t touched me, though my body craved him. It was intense, the heat from the closeness of his body making my knees weak.
“I’ll admit I’m curious, but I don’t think I can handle it,” I said, pushing him back gently.
“Let me try,” he said, taking my hand—our first real touch. It was electric and made me almost swoon. “You’ll have a safe word. I’ll honor your safe word.”
“I have a boyfriend though,” I said, pulling my hand away as I realized the effect he had on me.
“But also a secondary slave,” he said. “Your boyfriend obviously has no problem with him. You’re making excuses. What are you afraid of?”
I thought about it, getting angry, but the anger melted away when I looked into his soft blue eyes. “I guess losing myself,” I said, finding myself being incredibly honest.
“Or maybe you’re more frightened of what you’ll find,” he said.
“Maybe,” I said with a nod. I took a deep breath. “I can’t. It’s not me.”
“You don’t know that,” he said passionately. “You could be so much more. Don’t you want to experience subspace? I know you haven’t experienced the euphoria of Dominating someone.”
My brow furrowed. “How would you know?”
“Because you do your job well, Ava, but you’re missing a piece of yourself. I promise that if you let me train you, let me be your Dom, I can bring you both to subspace and top space.”
I pursed my lips together, unsure of what to say or do. I shook my head. “I’ll—I’ll think about it.”
He nodded. “That’s all I can ask.”
He then turned and walked up to Julius, who was waiting to speak to him. I stared after Gideon. His naked back was perfectly sculpted, and his ass was hugged by his leather pants, the chains on them hanging down.
“You should listen to him, you know,” a voice said from behind me.
I turned to see Ruby, his submissive for the evening. She was a petite twenty-something, only reaching about five foot four, with a tiny waist and B-cups. She had beautiful natural red hair, which was more of a rusty color, hanging down her back, nearly to her waist. She was naked, so I could see her bush, which was fiery as her hair.
“Excuse me?” I asked. “You speak out of turn, slave.”
She frowned, stepping forward. “I apologize, Mistress Ava. I just know Sir, and he has it bad for you. He also has your best interests in mind.”
“I have a boyfriend and another slave,” I said, defensively.
“Then talk to them about it,” she said with a shrug and a little smile. “I’m sure that Reichen would be all for it. Not too sure about Gabriel.”
“You know them both?” I asked, surprised.
She nodded. “I met Gabriel when you brought him last week. Reichen has been lurking in the shadows, watching me. Not too sure what his deal is.”
I rolled my eyes. “Just being Reichen.”
She giggled a little. “Probably. I’m sorry I spoke out of turn. I’m still adjusting to being out in the lifestyle. Where I was brought up, this kind of stuff just didn’t happen.”
“Ruby,” Gideon called.
“Yes, Sir?” she replied, standing at attention.
“Please finish your duties,” he said, pointing to the ropes that needed to be wrapped up.
“Yes, Sir,” she said. She looked at me. “Hope we can talk again soon.”
She then headed back over to the demo set to put everything away. I looked at Gideon, who was still talking to Julius, my boss and the owner of Xposed. I considered sticking around, specifically to talk to Julius, but decided against it and headed out.
I woke up Monday morning to see Gabe getting into his suit for the day at the office. I turned on my side, watching as he pulled on his slacks. He looked at me, smiling lightly.
“Hey you,” he said.
“Hey,” I replied in a raspy morning voice.
“Did I wake you?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No, I woke up on my own. Work already?”
“I’m afraid so,” he said. He walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed beside me. “And then rehab tonight for my shoulder. You were quiet last night when you came in. Anything wrong?”
I tried to look away but found myself drawn back to him. “Well … yeah.”
“What is it?” he asked, adjusting himself on the bed and fixing his tie.
“Well … Gideon made some comments,” I said. “He offered to do a private show for us, on Shibari.”
“A private show … using me or Reichen?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“Ruby?” he asked.
I shook my head once again. “Me.”
His brow rose. “You mean he wants you to be his submissive?”
I nodded, turning on my back. “It’s crazy. I’m a Dominant.”
“And being a Switch would be a bad thing?” he asked.
“It’s just not me,” I said, feeling like a broken record.
“I may be crazy, but how do you know that? I mean, I thought I wasn’t a submissive until you came along,” he said. “Sometimes you need to be … I don’t know, awakened.”
I shot him a look, hearing the same word that Gideon used. Awaken. I let it sink into my very skin, wondering what it would be like to truly submit to someone, especially someone like Gideon, who I admitted was a bit of a mystery to me. The kink community knew of him. He was famous in it in the city, but he kept his personal life pretty hush-hush. I would need to open myself to him, but would Gideon open himself to me?
I focused on Gabe. His hair was reasonably clipped, as he had just got it cut last week. It still curled around his ears, the shade a dark brown, so silky and perfect. His eyes were the purest chocolate brown I had ever seen. It was what I loved most about him. His eyes were expressive and honest.
“Gideon said something similar,” I said, looking down at my hands on my stomach.
“Are you attracted to him?”
I looked at him, nodding slowly. “Yeah. I’m attracted to the thought of being his submissive.”
“Would it help?” he asked. “Like, with the sleeping problems and stuff? Like it did for me.”
“I don’t know, Gabe,” I said with a sigh. I will admit I was uncomfortable with the thought that I was having problems sleeping and even having nightmares when I finally got to sleep. “I don’t know anything anymore.”
He took my hand in his, holding it gently. “If you need to try, I’ll give you a hall pass.”
I looked up to him again. “What? Really?”
“But there must be a Dungeon Monitor there,” he said, waving his finger. “I want you to be safe and not pushed too far past your limits. After all, what do we know about Gideon?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“So, make some time at the club tomorrow on your day off. Use one of the rooms, get a DM and then let Gideon do his thing,” he said.
“You’re okay with that?” I asked. “You wanted to leave me when I started sleeping with Reichen.”
“I’ve realized that there are different kinds of love, Ava. Different kinds of lust, too. You’re mine, I’m yours. Nothing will change that.”
I smiled a little. “I love you. You know that, right?”
He smiled too. “Yeah, I know. You know I love you, right?”
“Right,” I said, nodding.
“Do this, Ava,” he said. “Try it, and if you can’t submit, you can’t submit. Then things go back to the way they were, and you’ll be more sure of yourself.”
“What if I open up Pandora’s Box?” I asked.
“Well, we’ll deal with that when we get there, if we get there,” he said, pulling my hand up and kissing the back of it. “Now, I have to get to work. I’ll see you tonight.”
“Okay,” I said, sitting up and kissing him deeply. Our tongues lapped together, my hand going to his face and holding him for just a second to breathe him in. Sometimes you can feel the love when you’re kissing the person you love. It was definitely one of those moments.
I walked confidently into the club and grabbed my sheet for the night from our new receptionist, Leslie, a cross-dresser. She was a little buffer than our usual receptionist, but still super sweet and had a killer smile. Leslie was also white with blond hair, the opposite of Sarah, my ebony angel, as I called her.
I peeked my head into Marten’s office.
“Where’s Gideon?” I asked.
“He’s in Julius’s office,” he said, barely looking up from his papers, his glasses in his hands. His English accent was really cockney, not smooth like Reichen’s.
“Great,” I said.
“No Gabriel tonight?” he asked, glancing up a little.
“Big presentation,” I said as I turned.
“Life in the fast lane,” he said.
I strutted to the change room and found my locker with the A.G. on it in black writing inside a gold star. I put my coat away, revealing my skintight PVC skirt and corset, which cinched me tight. It was sexy; I felt sexy in it.
I closed my locker and headed down to the dungeon with my sheet. I weaved my way through to Julius’s office, where the door was closed. It was obviously a private meeting, and I wondered if it was appropriate to knock.
I took a deep breath, licking my lips. I knocked. It only took three seconds, but Julius came to the door and smiled at me.
“Ava,” he said. “Anything wrong?”
“Uh, no,” I said with a forced smile. “I just want to talk to Master Shaw when he’s available.”
I looked at Gideon, who had a barely-there smile as he stood up from his chair. Oh, he knew. He knew why I wanted to talk to him. There was no doubt about it.
“Oh, I think we’re done. You can take him off my hands,” Julius said, smiling as he pointed to him.
Gideon walked forward, towering over both Julius and me, since we were the same height, around five foot nine. He walked smoothly past me and stopped out in the hall. I smiled at Julius once more before turning to Gideon.
“All right,” I said, crossing my arms as the door was closed behind us. “You know why I want to talk to you, so stop with the smirk.”
He held his hands up submissively. “I didn’t say a word.”
“No, you don’t need to,” I said. I pointed to the room across the hall. “Let’s talk.”
I could feel his eyes burning into my back as I led the way into the room, walked to the center of it and crossed my arms. He closed the door, locking it before he turned to me. He was like a lion stalking his prey. No, that’s not right. A wolf. Always a wolf. His smoky blue eyes were on me, his gruff voice filling every pore of my body.
“All right,” he said. “So?”
“You know what this is about,” I said confidently, keeping my chin raised.
“And what’s that?” he asked, staring into me heatedly.
I shifted from one foot to the other. “I want to be your submissive. But there are rules. Number one, a Dungeon Monitor must be present. Number two, it has to happen here at the club.”
He nodded. “All right. Anything else?”
I laced my fingers together, thinking. “Safe word. I believe we should decide now what that will be.”
“Lady’s choice,” he said, pointing at me.
I wanted to go with the word Gabe and I used, vanilla, but that was a sacred word between us. It felt wrong to use it. I took a moment, thinking before I looked at him confidently.
“Elephant,” I said. It was my old safe word. I figured if I was doing this to get over past demons, I might as well actually face them. My old Dom and my old safe word were two of them.
He raised a brow and nodded. “All right. Elephant. You can call it at any time, and I will honor it and your wishes to stop or take a break.”
“Fine,” I said, swinging my hands down to my sides. “I’m going to reserve room six for us tomorrow night. It will be a two-hour session.”
“Sounds fair,” he said. “What are your boundaries?”
“The usual—no scat, no needle play, no water sports. I would say, because we will be starting fresh and need to establish trust, we start with light impact play.”
“What about sex?” he asked.
“It’s on the table,” I said.
His brow rose. “Your boyfriend doesn’t mind?”
“I have a hall pass,” I said, unimpressed. “And since I’m not paying you, there are no lines to cross or worry about.”
“I wasn’t planning on charging you anyways,” he said. “Is it all right if Ruby assists me?”
I nodded, mainly because I was relieved that it wouldn’t just be us and the DM. “Of course.”
“Great. You will be in room six, naked, on your knees, head bowed, waiting for me. Until tomorrow night, Mistress,” he said. He smiled once more before turning and leaving the room.
I took a moment, letting out a deep breath, which I hadn’t even been aware I had taken. I then felt kind of shaky, like I had had too much coffee. My stomach even felt a little queasy. I shook my head, focusing myself. I had work to do. I wasn’t going to let Gideon affect me like that anymore. No way. But the thought of waiting naked for him … it had me torn between fear and lust.
I took a moment to regroup. I licked my teeth, straightening myself out before I marched out of the room. I was on my way to set up for my first session of the night, when Julius walked out of his office, smiling at me.
“Ava,” he said.
I smiled back. “Hey, Julius.”
“How are things tonight?” he asked.
“It’s all right,” I said.
“You seem … rattled,” he said. If anyone could read me, it was Julius. There was no being aloof with him or hiding the truth. “Do you want to talk?”
I thought about it, feeling a sudden urge to vent. I shook my head though. “No, I’m okay. Just more personal issues. I won’t let them get in the way of work, like last time.”
“Last time was an unusual circumstance. Besides, Reichen has been doing well, especially as your slave. Keeping out of trouble.”
“Oh, this isn’t Reichen … I kind of wish it was,” I said.
He looked down the hall and towards the floor. “Master Shaw?”
I swallowed hard, feeling as if I’d been caught doing something horrible. “I, um … well, we made an arrangement.”
His brow rose. “An arrangement?”
“Yes, he … well, I’m going to sub for him,” I said, trying to lift my chin. I felt heat spread on my face, knowing I was blushing hard.
He was surprised, and his eyes widened. “You? A submissive?”
“Yes,” I said. He seemed a little unnerved by it. “What’s wrong?”
“You know that I am always for you exploring your submissive side, but I think it would be a mistake to get caught up with Master Shaw.”
I saw he was concerned. “Why?”
“He has his secrets, Ava. I am not in the right place to divulge them, and I am unsure if you get caught up in a romance with him that he will reveal those secrets,” he said.
“What kind of secrets?” I asked.
“Again, it is not my place,” he said, shaking his head. “I just feel that I need to warn you. I care for you. You know that, right?”
I nodded with a little smile. “I know. But really, there will be no romance. I’m just giving him permission to Dominate me. Ruby and a Dungeon Monitor will be there.”
He frowned but nodded. “All right. I trust you. I am sure you know what you are doing. I just worry for you. I do not want you to get in too deep with him.”
“I won’t,” I said. “I promise. This is more for me to sort myself out.”
“Submission is a good way to get in touch with hidden aspects of yourself. Much the same as Domination,” he said. “I hope you find what you are looking for.”
“Me too,” I said.