Yes, yes! Long time, no see!
Though I know everyone needs to contain their excitement (🙄), I should note the title of this blog post is a bit misleading; yes, my work is going to be available again, and yes, I am even going to be releasing new material. HOWEVER…
A little background: this past year has been a very rough go in my small corner of this big, wide world. To sum up, I was working as a contractor in app development, making some good money, and certainly on my way up. I was damn good at my job…too good.
And, just like in one of my stories, all good things must come to an end. The ka-boom was earthshattering. Due to workplace harassment via a superior, I ended up resigning, losing everything I worked so hard for, including a place for my work with a literary agent. You can imagine how devastating that was, since I’ve been writing since I was 18 and querying agents since I was 19—at the time that was 15 years.
If that wasn’t bad enough, I sustained c-PTSD from the ordeal, but workman’s comp found a loophole to deny me benefits. Oh, and let’s not forget my being *unable* to write as well because it triggered me, losing my comfort zone, my solace, the one place that was truly safe for me and made me feel like I had a purpose.
The view from Rock Bottom™️ sucks in copious amounts, to say the least.
And things were very dark there for a while for me, even to the point where I was on physician ordered bed rest for two months in the spring, everything taking its toll physically as well. And, honestly, I wasn’t entirely prepared for how badly I was going to be triggered this summer, one year out. It certainly didn’t help that there was a medical emergency in the fam at that one year mark too 🥴
BUT, as the late, great Brandon Lee said in 1994 epic The Crow, “It can’t rain all the time.“
I’ve been doing therapy since June, which has been unbelievably helpful. I still have a long ways to go, but it’s gotten me to the point where I can push myself without crumbling. As anyone in recovery from trauma will know, it ain’t easy; I’m just taking it one day at a time.
A major thing for me was understanding what I want in life, where I want to go, & how I’m going to get there. I reassessed my goals and made a plan for how I’m going to achieve them. And now I’m ready to take that big step. I’m ready to get the ball rolling. This is me doing that!
So, as I said, the title is a little misleading; I’m back, some previous stories will be re-uploaded, and new work is planned for release (I’m even currently writing a new story). However, my goal, my wish, was never to be an independent author. I am not a “content creator” and I don’t want to be. I am a writer. So you know what? That’s all I’m going to do. I’m gonna write ✍🏻
This is kind of a sore subject in the writing community (rightfully so), at least it was when I was on social media. Even agents and publishers expect you to have a following as a debut author. They expect you to have an audience already, via “Bookstagram” and “BookTok” and the like. You are expected to have a presence and create content that has people engaged, making that debut more successful.
Guess what though? I’m a writer, not a performing monkey in heels.
The social media aspect was taxing on me. It stopped being about writing what I want to write, what I want to read. Writing wasn’t fun anymore…I always thought (and still think) of writing as my job, but it wasn’t until I was an indie author that it legit felt like one. It was work and I didn’t enjoy it. It go to the point where I didn’t want to do it anymore and was struggling, the trauma inflicted by my manager the nail in the coffin, rendering me actually unable to write.
On top of that, my work wasn’t going anywhere. I was at the same # of followers on the major platforms for years, since 2017, at least.
As Rita Mae Brown said:
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”*source.
So, it’s time to do things a little differently…do it my way 🎵
The short and skinny of it is, I will not be creating content off this website, this blog. There will be absolutely no social media profiles with my pen name or content; no FB, no “X” (formerly Twitter), no Instagram, no TikTok, nothing.
I will be writing blog posts, probably pretty regularly, but I will not be running socials. In fact, I don’t even have any personal accounts; as of July, they have all been yeeted into oblivion. I know that’s relatively unheard of these days, but I’m completely off the social media grid. And I actually prefer it!
I’m just gonna do what I do best…I’m gonna write.
Xoxo Annabel Lee.